Good Rules for Bookclubs

One thing I’ve really enjoyed since publishing Life in Spades is meeting with bookclubs. I’ve not had a group yet that didn’t have a good discussion about not just what was going on in Gina, Cookie, Laura, and Sherry’s lives, but how all that resonated with them and the glimpses of their own lives.

This weekend, I met with a group that calls themselves the Diverse Divas and they each have a Diva name, such as “Bossy Diva,” “Quiet Diva”, “Deputy Diva”, and “The Diva”; the host was “Foxy Diva.” That was really fun – and has me pondering what would be my diva name? The group has been together almost 10 years and reads across genres. As the meeting went on, I realized that there were actually some rules to this group – much more than my own bookclub. Some of the other groups I’ve met with also had rules for the club.

If you are in a club, starting one, or trying to restore some order to your’s – here’s some of the rules I’ve come across in various book clubs.

-The first person to arrive, receives a prize. From whom? The last person to arrive, due at the next meeting.

– Anyone who doesn’t read the book, pays the hostess a fine.

– Specific genre for book selections ( my book club generally reads women of color)

– A designated person provides discussion questions – could be the hostess or another member

– An application process for membership

– A membership fee (not sure what it covers, perhaps refreshments?)

– Bookclub t-shirt/attire for group outings

– The person who suggests a book must have already read the book

What other rules does your bookclub have? What rules should your bookclub have?

By |February 25th, 2014|Bookclubs|0 Comments

There is a Somebody for Everybody

Love of a lifetime. Soulmate. Perfect match. Complete me.  The one.  Our Valentine.

It’s what we’re all looking for – that one person in the world who was made gloriously and divinely just for us.  From our time as children when we were told of that one special prince who showed up with the magic kiss to awaken the princess, we’ve been convinced and assured that there is someone out there just for us.

How do we find that one person? Is it fate, dumb luck, happenstance?  If you hadn’t gone into that bar that night, would you have met him at the grocery store check-out line instead?  Did you find love alphabetically, being assigned to sit behind her in history class?  What if your parents would’ve decided to move to the next town over and you went to a different high school, would you have somehow ended up at the same college?  Was it the one time that you believed that your co-worker was a good matchmaker and accepted his offer to meet his friend with a great personality?  Or was it the precisely accurate bio and great photo on your online profile that attracted the perfect match?

We’re driven to find that person because we believe that’s the one who is going to be the other part to fulfilling the romantic part of our lives.  What if the prince never found the one girl who fit the glass slipper?  Because so much of who we are does, I believe, depend on with whom we spend our time and our life.  We each need someone in our life who supports our dreams, but will also help us see reality, too.  To be our full selves, we have to have a life partner who sees our vision and is not threatened by our hopes.  We each need someone who will be there when we laugh, whether they get the joke or not, and stay there when we cry, even if they don’t feel the same pain.

They may not like the same food we like or share the same hobbies.  They may sit back and let us dance, run while we walk, sleep when we’re up at dawn. That’s okay. We can’t get caught up because we and our partner don’t like everything exactly the same.  The question is, are they there when we need them?  All the other stuff aside – can you trust them to catch you when you are about to fall and hold your hand when your moving forward?

It’s human and natural to want to find that one. Though, often times, when we’re single we act like we don’t need anybody and when we’re coupled we act like we could live without the other person.  But, no matter what we say – we are all meant to have another side, someone to balance us out.  It is why, after creating all the other creatures on earth, God finally made Eve. Because Adam was lonely and needed a mate.  And for each of us, I do believe that there is somebody.

Share in the Comments: If you are coupled – how did you meet your somebody?  If you are single – where are you looking?